SOMEBODY GOT MURDERED.

  

Somebody Got Murdered

An Excerpt from the novel Career Opportunities by Ian Hunter

  The tabloids had given it plenty of column inches but the Daily Mail had really lapped it up. It was just the kind of story the Mail loved to present to its middle England readership along with their cornflakes. The tragic, if not undeserved,demise (in their considered opinion) of a liberal, bed wetting couscous munching layabout, whose bohemian lifestyle and loose morality was an obvious sign that he was probably on hard drugs.

   According to the coroners report the cause of death had been due to internal bleeding from a blow to the side of the torso. Probably with a club or bat of some kind. The time of death had been vague but the officer in charge of the inquiry had speculated at any time between mid day and mid night on Monday. The victim of this murder had been found face down in the Regents Canal just behind Sainsbury’s supermarket in Camden Town. Grey, emaciated, and fraying around the lips. Much to the Mail’s delight, all the early signs suggested that it was gangland related.

   According to the newspapers, it was an open and shut case and it only remained for the cops to track down the next of kin before releasing the name of the victim. Three people had already been arrested in connection with the death. The first had been a twenty-five year old woman. Rosie Mendoza was small time drug dealer from Camden Town with a string of convictions ranging from possession to prostitution. The second to be arrested was a big Irish lump by the name of Sean Mitchum. Mitchum was a professional bullshitter who, depending on whom you spoke to, said the Mail, had been everything from a Royal Marine commando to Madonna's bodyguard. The truth of the matter was that he was trying to feed a six ton-a week cocaine habit on the wages of a doorman. This being an impossibility, he was making lines meet by dishing out the odd good hiding on behalf of the local self preservation society - One,Thomas Warren.

  The filth hadn’t really had to melt their grey matter to find out what had happened to the deceased. Upon discovery of the body they had scrolled through the local CCTV footage from the previous few days. Monday morning 12.03am.Rosie Mendoza and deceased seen kissing outside Worlds End Pub. 1207 a.m, Mendoza and deceased caught on camera walking up Camden Parkway. 12.30a.m Mitchum seen walking up Camden Parkway. Midday, Monday, Sean Mitchum and Rosie Mendoza seen walking down Camden Parkway and into The Underworld nightclub, run by Tommy Warren.

Tommy Warren had received an early morning alarm call courtesy of her Majesties constabulary, Kentish Town chapter, where upon several items of potential interest were taken away for further examination. One of these items, according to the Daily Mail, was a video cassette tape pertaining to the club’s own closed circuit system. Upon viewing the tape, the cops had seen the deceased tiptoeing into a shabby magnolia office above the club where upon he had proceeded to rifle through various cupboards and drawers. The time on the clock-counter was Sunday afternoon,5.30pm. Upon discovering a large yellow money bag the thief had vacated the office and disappeared off camera.

Everything after this point was only conjecture but in true tabloid fashion, they had written it to sound like fact. The theft had been discovered an hour or two later, where upon the tape had been rewound to reveal the culprit. Mendoza, an attractive and nefarious, associate of Warren, had been brought up to the office and shown the tape. She was told to go down stairs into the club, where the thief was cockily enjoying a night out at the owners expense. She was to use her feminine charms to lure him away to a nearby address. Once there, she was to keep him occupied and call Mitchum who would then recover the money and hand out a punishment beating. The post mortem had shown traces of Rohipnol, which the cops assumed had been slipped to the deceased without his knowledge. Probably by way of a drink.

Once the deceased was rolling his eyes and mumbling gibberish, Mitchum had appeared. However, an over zealous and ill placed whack to the kidneys had prematurely terminated the interview. The cops were satisfied that no money was recovered from the victim before his death and the whereabouts of it, thought to be in the region of ten thousand pounds, was still a mystery at this time.

Career Opportunities is available at Amazon