Fat Bob And The Big Win. From the forthcoming novel, Pseudonyms, by Ian Hunter.

Pseudonyms 



Fat Bob Wardell stepped off the bus in Plumstead High Street and headed for his council flat on the Polthorne Estate. It had been a good night. He’d taken Courtney for almost a grand in the first hour and apart from a couple of dodgy hands, he’d kept the luck and cleaned up. 

He put the Marks and Spencer carrier bag around his wrist and pushed his hands into his coat pockets as he walked; a spring in his step and a tuneless happy whistle on his lips. The shadows of the Polthorne Estate moved slowly; weighing up the old geezer who was coming towards them. 

‘Don’t even think about it, you fuckin’ mugs.’ 

They knew the voice and scattered as quickly as they had gathered. Fat Bob walked past the darkened stairwell and growled.
The old man unlocked his door and snarled at the two bull mastiffs, sending them running to their basket in the kitchen. He cackled to himself once more before feeding the tropical fish and flopping out on the sofa. He took the Marks and Spencer carrier bag from around his wrist and emptied the contents on the coffee table. He’d won at least three grand tonight.

He loosed off a bad fart, sipped on his night cap and thought about what needed doing. He needed to do right by Sean. Neither of his daughters would have anything to do with him these days, and he’d not seen them or their mother since Trisha got wed. 

Sean had been a bolt from the blue. He could just about remember his mother; a red haired Irish pikey who had started working on the bar at The Dolphin. She was a cute little thing and a night down the York Hall to watch Alan Minter had ended with him getting his end away in Victoria Park. 

She’d given him the spiel about being up the duff, but he’d been young then and didn’t give a fuck. There was no way he had been going to get saddled with a ‘tin lid’ to some fuckin’ Mick pikey bird. 

It wasn’t long after that he’d got a five for receiving so that sorted it out. By the time he’d got his jam, she was long gone and that was the end of that. However, once the old mare had drunk herself to death in County Cork, the lad had come looking for him and he was glad he had. He was a chip off the old block, that boy.

Fat Bob sipped his Captain Morgan and continued to muse as he counted his winnings. Dropping him in with Tommy had been a double edged sword in some ways. He’d made up the bollocks about Sean having a bit of grief for bashing up his Mrs, simply to cajole Tommy into giving him a job over the river. He needed to see if the lad had what it took before he started introducing him around too much on this manor. 

Fuck me; the cunt gets a two for GBH before you can say Mad Frankie Fraser. Fat Bob Wardell finished his count up and held out the wad in front of him. Three thousand, two hundred and twenty quid. He threw it skyward, toked on his Monte Christo, and smiled to himself as it fluttered down around him. It was almost time to make his move.


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